Deck the Halls (Without Losing Your Sh*t)
A Somatic Survival Guide for the Holidays 🎄
Ah, the holidays. A time for joy, togetherness, and the annual ritual of realising that no matter how much therapy you’ve done, five minutes back at the dinner table can still make you feel like a sulky 14-year-old.
You’re surrounded by twinkling lights, mountains of carbs, and relatives who have no issue casually asking, “So, when are you going to get your life together?”—all while you internally scream into the void. Or a pillow. My preference is both.
But let me tell you this: you are not doomed to holiday dysfunction. You don’t have to white-knuckle your way through another season of overcooked turkey, passive-aggressive comments, and awkward silences. Instead, I’m handing you the ultimate somatic guide to actually surviving the holidays. It’s time to navigate this season with grace, humour, and maybe even a little sparkle in your eye.
Oh, and don’t worry—there will be tips for keeping things spicy and sexy, even when you’re sharing a house with your entire extended family and sleeping in your childhood bedroom under posters of boy bands you’re secretly still infatuated with (my love for you Boyzone will never die!).
Functional Freeze and My Holiday Horror Story
Let’s set the stage: for most of my life, my holiday season looked like this—me, sitting silently at the dinner table, smiling and nodding. Or drinking copious amount of champange, talking everyone’s ear off and waking up the next day with a headache more painful than a primary school choir enthusiastically hitting the high notes in "Away in a Manger". 🥴
I didn’t know it at the time, but I was locked in a state of functional freeze, my nervous system’s way of saying, This is too much, so we’re just going to shut it all down and coast through the chaos. Or drink through it more likely.
I was numb to sensation, disconnected from my body, and on autopilot. I’d leave family gatherings feeling like I’d run a marathon while simultaneously being hit by a truck. I’d spend the next few days recovering, wondering why my body had responded in the way it had (I mean, I love my family for crying out loud. I couldn’t understand why I responded like this).
But here’s the uncomfortable truth: sometimes we just don’t know!
I come from a wonderfully large, wonderfully blended, wonderfully chaotic family. Meaning when we’re all together, it’s beautiful kind of mayhem (literally - our family dog is called that). And sometimes, with so many moving pieces, so many people bustling around and oh so much cooking to be done, our nervous systems can go into overdrive.
“I need to survive Aunt Susan’s conspiracy theories about tinsel. I’ve got to stop the gravy from becoming a fire hazard. Crap, my niece is ‘decorating’ the dog again with enough baubles and glitter to mirror an Elton John performance”
Learning how to navigate my nervous system changed everything. I’ve gone from feeling shut down and dissociated to present and connected, with only the necessary amount of extra stress— some of it’s inevitable!
Understanding Your Nervous System: The Basics
Before we dive into holiday hacks, here’s a crash course in nervous system 101. Your nervous system has three main(ish) modes:
Fight/Flight: The “Holy sh*t, I need to do something” mode. Useful for escaping bears, not so much for dealing with your mother-in-law’s cooking critique.
Freeze: The I can’t deal, so I’ll just zone out and smile mode. My personal default for years.
Rest and Digest (aka Your Happy Place): This is where you feel calm, connected, and capable of enjoying your sister’s third retelling of that one time you embarrassed yourself at during the family Christmas Quiz - in defence of my dyslexia, Ethiopia and Utopia sound very similar!
The key to surviving the holidays isn’t about avoiding stress altogether (good luck with that)—it’s about learning how to regulate your nervous system so you can recover faster when things inevitably go sideways.
We’re going for resilience, not perfectionism. 💪💪💪
Holiday Survival Tips for Your Nervous System
1. Master the Art of the Exit Strategy
Let’s get one thing straight: it is 100% okay to excuse yourself when things get overwhelming. Whether it’s a bathroom break, a walk outside, or “accidentally” getting locked in the pantry with a plate of cookies. Taking time to reset is essential.
Somatic Tip: While you’re hiding—sorry, recalibrating—try this:
Place your hand over your heart and take a few slow breaths.
Exhale longer than you inhale (this tells your nervous system, We’re safe, we can chill out).
Whisper to yourself, You’re doing amazing. You dodged Uncle Gary’s political rant like a champ!
2. Move Your Body, Even If It’s Just a Wiggle
Sitting at the dinner table for hours on end can leave your body feeling like a tightly wound spring. Movement helps release all that pent-up tension, so don’t be afraid to excuse yourself for a quick stretch—or even a dance break in the kitchen.
Somatic Tip: Find sneaky ways to move, like offering to take out the trash, refilling everyone’s drinks, or steeling your nephew’s BB gun and playing a game of dodge your auntie (Warning: more drama may ensue!).
3. Stay in Your Body (Even When Mum’s is Telling You How to Live Your Life)
When someone’s getting under your skin, it’s easy to disconnect. Instead, try grounding yourself:
Wiggle your toes and notice how they feel in your shoes.
Press your feet into the floor and remind yourself, I am an adult, and I don’t have to take this personally.
If all else fails, picture them in a ridiculous outfit (tutu? pirate hat?). It’ll take the edge off.
4. Build a “Holiday Sensory Toolkit”
Pack a little bag of things that help soothe you: essential oils, a cozy scarf, noise-canceling earbuds, or even a fidget toy. Sneak off for a minute to engage your senses and bring yourself back to your body.
Keeping the Festive Spice Alive
Now, let’s talk about the real challenge: keeping things sexy during the holidays. Between overeating, family drama, and the general chaos, intimacy can take a back seat. And thats okay. But if you don’t want it to, here’s a few ideas:
1. Get Flirty Under the Mistletoe/Broom Closet.
Make eye contact, steal a kiss, or whisper something cheeky to your partner when no one’s looking. It’s the small moments that keep the spark alive. Plus it’s just damn fun. 😉
2. Schedule Some Alone Time
Yes, it’s hard when you’re sharing space with a million people, but even a quick 10-minute cuddle session (or something steamier) can work wonders. Lock the bedroom door, turn on some music, and tell everyone you’re “wrapping presents.”
3. Use Anticipation to Your Advantage
Flirt via text throughout the day—even if you’re in the same house. A little playful teasing can build anticipation and make those stolen moments even sweeter.
Your Somatic Holiday Game Plan
Here’s your somatic holiday mantra: I don’t have to be perfect. I don’t have to please everyone. I just have to listen to my body and do what feels right for me.
And remember, it’s okay to:
Say no to that fifth glass of mulled wine if you don’t want it.
Politely decline rehashing your dating life over Christmas pudding.
Step outside when the noise gets too loud.
The holidays don’t have to be a marathon of stress and shutdown. With a little nervous system know-how, you can navigate the holidays feeling more present, connected, and maybe even joyful. 🤯
So, this year, I’m inviting you to take a different approach.
Ditch the perfectionism, embrace the chaos, and prioritise you.
Because nothing says holiday magic like a woman who knows how to stay grounded, keep her spark alive, and still steal the last mince pie!
Cheers to surviving—and thriving—this holiday season! You’ve got this. 🎄
And happy holidays!
With love Xx
💖