The Secret Sauce to Steamy Pleasure
[Workshop Replay Inside]
Let’s talk about Sex baby—more specifically, PLEASURE.
Last night, I had the absolute pleasure (pun 100% intended!) of guiding a powerhouse group of inspiring, bold, and unapologetically fierce women through my workshop, Reclaim Your Pleasure. And let me tell you, I’m still riding the high from everything we created together.
There’s something almost magical about witnessing so many of you showing up to reclaim your bodies, pleasure, and that inner spark—and I’m truly honoured to be part of that journey.
For those of you who missed it (or just want to catch it all over again), I’ve got you covered! The replay is live, and you can watch it here.
It’ll be available until EOD Sunday (3rd Novemebr 2024) PST, so grab a comfy seat, hit play, and get ready to turn up the heat. 🥵
We dove deep into the real “secret sauce” of pleasure—something that might sound surprisingly… well… unsexy.
….Safety!
I’m guessing you’re here because you feel like there’s more to be had in the pleasure department—something beyond “just fine” or “I guess that was okay.”
And I get it.
That’s where I was not long ago—feeling sexually numb, shut down, and like something was wrong with me. That was until I discovered the super sexy science of our nervous system.
Mind-blowing transformations happen when we start working with our nervous systems and give ourselves the safety we truly deserve. This unlocks a level of pleasure so mind-blowing and earth-shattering that you'll find yourself thinking, "Holy sh*t, Jilly Cooper, eat your heart out!"
Now, let’s explore why safety is the ultimate bedroom toy…
Why A Safe Nervous System Is A Spicy Nervous System ❤️🔥
A safe nervous system is your VIP pass to dripping hot sex and pleasure that’ll have you shouting “Holy smokes!” instead of “Oh no!”
Let’s break it down: your nervous system has two key players—think of them as your body’s pleasure bouncers. The parasympathetic system is like that chill friend who encourages you to kick back, relax, and enjoy the moment. When you’re in this state, you feel secure, and your desires can run wild—that’s where the magic happens! 😈
On the flip side, we have the sympathetic system, which kicks in during stress or danger, like a hyperactive squirrel on espresso. When this part is active, you may feel tense, anxious, and disconnected, making it hard to enjoy any pleasure. So, it’s essential to keep that sympathetic system in check! By cultivating a sense of safety, you can turn down the stress and turn up the pleasure, paving the way for a pleasure explosion that even your wildest fantasies can’t touch!
So, if pleasure hasn’t been lighting up every cell in your body lately, it may just be that your system isn’t feeling safe enough to go there yet.
Shame & Stress: The Uninvited Guests at Your Pleasure Party
You don’t have to have experienced trauma to feel your nervous system getting in the way of your pleasure. We live in a world that piles on stress like clockwork, throwing shame into the mix when it comes to our desires and bodies. Think about all those silent rules: “Don’t feel too much,” “Don’t want too much,” “Don’t be too much.”
This constant noise around “being enough” can lead to our bodies clamming up and keeping pleasure at bay.
When we’re operating under this pressure, our bodies sometimes carry tension—even numbness—that blocks the flow of pleasure from head to toe. But we can change the script by actively creating safety in our bodies—turning “meh” into “f*ck yes!”
Four Ways to Create That Safe Space (No Meditation Cushion Needed)
Welcome Your Breath—It’s Been Waiting for You
Your breath is your gateway to letting your body know, “Yes, I’m here.” Inhale deeply, then exhale slowly to release tension. This simple act helps open the door to sensation and calm.Get Sensual with Your Surroundings
Pay attention to the feel of your bedsheets or the warmth of your coffee cup. Enjoying simple touches reinforces that it’s safe to experience pleasure in everyday moments.Try a Little Self-Compassionate Touch
When was the last time you just… touched your body? Placing a gentle hand over your heart or wrapping your arms around yourself signals to your nervous system, “I’m here. I’ve got you,” giving it permission to put the armor down.Honor Your Boundaries Like You’re Beyoncé
Saying “no” when you mean it is one of the most liberating things you can do for yourself. By honoring your boundaries, you teach your body to trust that it won’t be forced into things it doesn’t want. And that, my friend, is the ultimate turn-on for your nervous system.
Feeling Safe Is Just the Start…
Here’s the thing: once your body starts to feel safe, it begins to soften. When it softens, it opens up. And when it opens… well, that’s when the real pleasure arrives.
I know what it’s like to feel disconnected from your body, wondering if you can truly experience the pleasure you desire. I was once there—numb and lost in the routine—but this work flipped my world upside down, taking me from dreary to delicious. I’d love to help you make that leap too!
If you’re ready for a deeper dive into your pleasure journey, let’s get you there with two tailored 1:1 options:
Single 90-Minute Fire-starter Session: Think of this as the spark to your pleasure flame! 🔥 Together, we’ll create a pleasure strategy, equipping you with the tools you need to unlock the pleasure you’ve always hungered for. (Book your session here!)
The 6-Week Seduction Package: Ready for a pleasure deep dive? Together, we’ll hone in on one key area of your pleasure, unlocking confidence and insights that will empower you to embrace your sensual self unapologetically. Want tailored practices and personalised guidance —book a free connection call with me - HERE - to see if we’re a fit!
Whether it’s a quick chat, a single session, or a longer journey together, I’m excited to connect with you.
REMEMBER: Creating safety in your body isn’t just self-care; it’s seduction. So lean into those moments because once your body feels safe, pleasure has a beautiful way of finding you.
With love Xx
💖
PS. Got questions or insights? Let’s talk! You can find me on the Gram here - or shoot me an email at alexa@alexaberry.com