I love that you discussed the importance of safety and anticipation. It’s often dismissed. Btw, „stressed out to spread out“ is something you can be very proud of..😉
I love that it resonated with you. Yes, safety is so important; physical, physiological and emotional when it comes it sex. Safety is a basic human right in my view. PS. my inner writer is fist pumping the "stressed out to spread out" 😉 Thank you!
What a great post. I despise the term foreplay. For me… it’s simply play… or sexual play. A journey where pleasure is prime and not PIV as a “simple” destination. Looking forward to reading Part 2.
Yes! I so agree with this and love how you described it as a journey where pleasure is prime. That simple sentence offers so much freedom and play. Wahooooo!
Bang on the money! There's a mantra in somatic experiencing and when working with the body and nervous system which is my north star when consulting with clients: "Slower is faster. Less is more".
So much great information well presented. Regarding foreplay. Let's not call it foreplay! The implication is that it's less important. I know that's a big ask because history and all. I read a great quote in medium. "Sex is not something you do to someone it's something you do with someone" I'm chagrined that I've forgotten the attribute. Thank you for writing.
Yes. Yes and Yes! I'm in complete agreement that foreplay should no longer be called foreplay but sex itself. And that quote is beautiful and so accurate. "Sex is not something you do to someone, but something you do with someone". Thank you so much for sharing!!
I feel like this is everything I try to say to my partner but I can’t articulate so thank you for doing a national service 🙏🏽 I love how practical the advice is and how you’ve considered literally EVERYTHING! Every line I’m like !!!!!!!!
Awww! Thank you so much. I love that it was able to help you articulate what you've been trying to say and that it resonated with you. That makes me more happy than I can say. THANK YOU!!!!
So happy you loved this and you gained insight from it. I'm always in awe of the incredible men who are invested and interested in this work (I mean of course you are) but it always is a beautiful reminder of how many of us desire closeness and intimacy in a world that can sometimes feel like it pushes the opposite! Thank you!
You're not dumb! Not in the slightest. Most of us never get a quality education in this area, let alone know how our nervous systems play a role in our ability to experience pleasure - and yet are just expected to know. 🥴 It's none of our faults AND celebrating you diving in and seeking out information to learn. That should be championed! 🎉
Everything about this is so good. I deeply resonated with your words. I feel heard, seen and understood. And also blessed to have experienced what you speak of. Keep writing please 🙌
I love that you feel heard, seen and understood. That makes my heart so happy and full and I'm celebrating that you've had these gorgeous experiences before! Wahoooooo!!
You're more than welcome! For a thriving and enjoyable intimate life, it should be fulfilling for both/all partners. The fun comes in when we feel safe enough with our partner(s) to explore exactly what that looks like. I hope you enjoyed!! 😊
I feel you. I wish I'd learned about this from the get go.... and its never to late for mind blowing pleasure! Your body is literally designed for it 😉
I love that you discussed the importance of safety and anticipation. It’s often dismissed. Btw, „stressed out to spread out“ is something you can be very proud of..😉
I love that it resonated with you. Yes, safety is so important; physical, physiological and emotional when it comes it sex. Safety is a basic human right in my view. PS. my inner writer is fist pumping the "stressed out to spread out" 😉 Thank you!
My favorite article of yours so far!!! 🎉 so juicy and full of practical and educational information!!! Can’t wait for part 2!
Awwww thank you so much!!! I’m looking forward to part 2 also!!
What a great post. I despise the term foreplay. For me… it’s simply play… or sexual play. A journey where pleasure is prime and not PIV as a “simple” destination. Looking forward to reading Part 2.
Yes! I so agree with this and love how you described it as a journey where pleasure is prime. That simple sentence offers so much freedom and play. Wahooooo!
And psssst, here's part 2 for ya 😉: https://alexaberry.substack.com/p/how-to-make-her-scream-part-two?r=4j9hd3
It's all comes down to this: sloooooow dowwwwn, gentlemen.
Bang on the money! There's a mantra in somatic experiencing and when working with the body and nervous system which is my north star when consulting with clients: "Slower is faster. Less is more".
So much great information well presented. Regarding foreplay. Let's not call it foreplay! The implication is that it's less important. I know that's a big ask because history and all. I read a great quote in medium. "Sex is not something you do to someone it's something you do with someone" I'm chagrined that I've forgotten the attribute. Thank you for writing.
Yes. Yes and Yes! I'm in complete agreement that foreplay should no longer be called foreplay but sex itself. And that quote is beautiful and so accurate. "Sex is not something you do to someone, but something you do with someone". Thank you so much for sharing!!
I feel like this is everything I try to say to my partner but I can’t articulate so thank you for doing a national service 🙏🏽 I love how practical the advice is and how you’ve considered literally EVERYTHING! Every line I’m like !!!!!!!!
Awww! Thank you so much. I love that it was able to help you articulate what you've been trying to say and that it resonated with you. That makes me more happy than I can say. THANK YOU!!!!
Do the dishes. And dry them and put them away.
I loved this!!!! It is so good to love a woman….and beautiful to have these insights wrapped in the quotes that so richly make it humbling to be a man
So happy you loved this and you gained insight from it. I'm always in awe of the incredible men who are invested and interested in this work (I mean of course you are) but it always is a beautiful reminder of how many of us desire closeness and intimacy in a world that can sometimes feel like it pushes the opposite! Thank you!
Well said.
Too long introduction…
Maybe...... but then sometimes things need to be warmed up slowly in order to "hit the right spot". 😉
Wow I didn’t realize how dumb I was about women’s body parts! No wonder our sex life is no exsistant!
You're not dumb! Not in the slightest. Most of us never get a quality education in this area, let alone know how our nervous systems play a role in our ability to experience pleasure - and yet are just expected to know. 🥴 It's none of our faults AND celebrating you diving in and seeking out information to learn. That should be championed! 🎉
Outstanding read
Thank you!!! 🥰
Everything about this is so good. I deeply resonated with your words. I feel heard, seen and understood. And also blessed to have experienced what you speak of. Keep writing please 🙌
I love that you feel heard, seen and understood. That makes my heart so happy and full and I'm celebrating that you've had these gorgeous experiences before! Wahoooooo!!
The best
I think so.... but I'm bias 🤣 Thank you!
What an incredible article -- Substack needs more of this please. xx
Thank you so much. I deeply appreciate that Amanda 😊 And oh so many more articles to come - I'm slightly obsessed with this topic so.... 🤷🏻♀️ 😂
I’m grateful to you for the explicit explanation of how a male lover can make his own life more enjoyable with his beloved lady.
You're more than welcome! For a thriving and enjoyable intimate life, it should be fulfilling for both/all partners. The fun comes in when we feel safe enough with our partner(s) to explore exactly what that looks like. I hope you enjoyed!! 😊
Loved this! Only wish I had read it in my 20’s 🤣
I feel you. I wish I'd learned about this from the get go.... and its never to late for mind blowing pleasure! Your body is literally designed for it 😉